i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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