I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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