Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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