When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
