See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
