i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
