Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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