you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
