how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
