I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
