but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
