I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
