well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
