im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
