you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
