i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
the night ended with taco bell and tears
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Couch. On fire.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
