If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
