everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
