I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
