what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
