SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize