bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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