guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
