I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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