dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
