; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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