It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
