She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
this boner is exhausting
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
