I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
