Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
