I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
