At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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