btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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