I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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