May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
