my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
