Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
