'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i out mim tonsoeep
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
