I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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