From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize