You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My penis needs a shock collar
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
