So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
