R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
