take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
