there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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