gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
