I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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