Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
