If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
