i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you made out with another girl for some wings
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
