Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
