Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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