That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
