garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What drink are we having for lunch?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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