Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Houston, we have a blender
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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