He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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