they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
