he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize