Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
