I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize