omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
