i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just want nice things and good sex
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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