OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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