Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
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