where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
